May your JOY and Good Fortune continue...
Sending you Good Vibes and Energy of Joy.
May you be held in and with Love,
May your happiness not diminish,
May your joy never cease,
May you live with peace and ease.
A couple of weeks ago, I received a phone call from someone that was experiencing a number of life and family health challenges. When I answered, they almost immediately went into sharing how annoyed they were. Not really having seen them in this state before, but also knowing that someone in their family is experiencing some serious health challenges, I asked what was going on. On top of the known family challenges and a heightened level of irritability, they went into sharing how very small things that other people said or did really annoyed them. Doing my best to listen and be as understanding as possible, we shared a few laughs about why they were annoyed and I reassured them, that it’s normal and okay to feel that way because they were human, that things will be okay and the annoyance would pass, considering the state of mind they were in.
Then, they went on to the next thing they were annoyed about, sharing some dialogue they exchanged with someone in their circle. What emerged in the dialogue they had were feelings of non-wholeness, comparison and feeling less than, based on their current capacities or non-ability to do the things they had normally been doing in their life. In addition to the family health challenge, there were other reasons why certain things weren’t possible. In listening and understanding, knowing they called for support to navigate through the challenge, the third of the 4 divine abodes or Brahmaviharas, “Mudita” came to mind.
Sympathetic Joy or Mudita can be the most difficult of the Brahmaviharas to develop because there are so many constricting mind states. Coming after Metta and Karuna, Mudita is the Sanskrit and Pali word for Sympathetic Joy which means “to be pleased, to have a sense of gladness“ because this force of happiness actually liberates us.
At our fingertips are technologies, social apps, devices and platforms that have made us voyeurs, to an extent very normal — Watching and participating in the sharing of life events, happenings and updates. These apps, platforms and technologies are the places we both check in and stay apprised. But through the pandemic and the rise of mental health awareness, a lot of people have shared that these technologies, apps and platforms subconsciously take the Joy out of life, creating non-secure feelings of fear that we’re not where we want to be or doing the things we want to be doing. This fear continues to grow into lack via comparison, followed by shame and other emotions that take our happiness and Joy away. With these feelings and emotions, the cycle of our suffering continues because we don’t find ourselves happy at the accomplishments of our peers, family or friends, but comparing being mad, jealous or envious that we aren’t where they appear to be in life or have what they appear to have. We judge ourselves and others further contributing to the stress, anxiety and discomfort from being hard on ourselves. But we also don’t explore deeper, why we’re feeling this way.
In addition to loving on ourselves and our neighbors and being compassionate, how would the world be and what would happen if we celebrated ourselves and others? How much better would our days, and lives be? How Divine do we become?
As a practice Mudita or Sympathetic Joy, is when we take delight in the happiness of another when we genuinely rejoice at their prosperity, success or good fortune rather than begrudging it in any way.
Mudita, Compassion and lovingkindness all work together in opening our hearts. Mudita is boundless — as It develops in us, we are able to rejoice in the happiness and well-being of others whether we like them or not. These Qualities of Sympathetic Joy challenge our deep assumptions about aloneness, loss and happiness and show us another possibility. Mudita :
is Joy at the good fortune of others and self
Defeats many of the qualities of consciousness that bind us, according to Sharon Salzberg
is Non-judgmental — it slices through our predilection to force the world to accord with our views
is being genuinely happy for another person and upholding another’s happiness and when they feel happiness
reorients our relationship to the world into one of opening and effortless giving.
Sharon Salzberg also shares that in practicing sympathetic joy, rather than looking at others in order to define ourselves(comparing), we are recognizing that we do indeed deserve to be happy. To me, this shows how powerful these divine abodes are. It shows that just by expressing Mudita, we can defeat the aversion and attachment that bind us. Other benefits of practicing Sympathetic Joy include but are not limited to
Providing the opportunity to extricate ourselves from our stuckness, to be free from different traps in our lives — to be happy.
Mudita Eliminates boredom — because it gives us so many reasons to feel happy and connected
When we feel happy for others, we feel happy and connected to ourselves. The separation and Dullness of boredom is dissolved.
How can and do we practice Sympathetic Joy for ourselves and others?
In the practice of Sympathetic Joy we start by offering any of the following phrases or sequence of phrases to someone we care about — A dear friend:
May your joy never cease
May your joy and good fortune continue
May your happiness not diminish
Offer as many times as you wish. Then, when you've felt your heart open to this joy, move to share and spread this joy with others and offer the phrase or phrases(in this order) to:
A benefactor
Neutral person
An enemy, difficult or challenging person(or person that you have a challenging relationship with)
All beings
And you can close, offering Mudita to all beings in all directions.
Is it possible to genuinely share in the joy and good fortune of others? YES! It’s something that can definitely seem impossible and even very challenging. But one that requires repeated practice and practice to actually cultivate it.
I couldn’t stay on that call too long, but when Mudita came up I shared it. I shared what is was and what it meant and I also shared the phrases. I told them that it’s okay to feel a way about not being where you want to be. Heck, I’ve even felt that way a bunch of times. But I also shared that in practicing or cultivating Mudita we share in the gladness, accomplishments and good fortune of other people eliminating the urge to compare or be jealous and envious. Knowing that you have everything that you need.
You are whole.
You are complete.
You are lacking nothing.
You are the Embodiment of infinite possibilities.
ALL things are working for your Good.
Have an Amazing day and week.
Be well, stay mindful.
May is Mental Health Awareness Month. Join me and my consultancy’s resource platform, Creative Vibes Only® on 5/20 in NYC for The Mindful Creative™ Wellness Lab. If you’re not in NYC, that’s okay send, share or gift to a friend that is!
Space is limited, so Reserve an Early bird spot ASAP!
